For those keeping track, there have been no private posts this week. I've thought about a few, but just like with the public posts, I think them more than I write them. That's my life, actually. I think it more than I do it. Whatever IT is.

Hey, I wonder if I can find it on e-bay? Ya think?

ANYway.

The subject is horoscopes.

First, here is my January Cainer Horoscope:

"Your January Forecast: For what reason have you been placed on the Earth? You have, of course, come here to learn to spell. This world is full of words in which it imperative that the letters are placed in the right order. You have also come here to pay tax. The government demands your contribution. Most importantly, you have come here to experience stress. Stress is what this world creates for us all. Whenever we reject it in favour of relaxation, we contradict the law of nature! No... not really! But we can be forgiven for thinking it must be this way. Yet this month, you will have good reason to feel less cynical. You are about to enjoy a great start to the new year. 2007 is here."

Hah! Okay, that was funny. And yes, oddly, although lately my life has been all about the stress, I have felt very upbeat this January. It is a great start to the new year, because things are sunny and moving forward and I am in a good headspace, where just a few weeks ago I was so definitely not in a good headspace. This is why I don't understand why everyone is so grouchy and down on January this year. Or maybe you all just needed to start it off in the Western Caribbean sun, like I did. ;-)

Here is my weekly Cainer horoscope (beginning Saturday last):

"It's a question of timing. You can have what you want but you can't necessarily have it just when you want it. This probably ought not to matter but it seems important. You feel cheated or frustrated because your timetable is unsatisfactory. But time is precious. Far too precious to waste feeling bad about something that is actually good. Use your time wisely this week. Make some plans in a positive spirit. Adapt to the factors that you cannot change. A constructive conversation will soon help you to see a recent dramatic development in a different light. Then you will start to feel much happier about where you are heading."

Yes, this fits quite well. Already had the constructive conversation about the recent dramatic development that put it in a different light. [Okay, we had at least two of those, possibly three. Life has been big for me lately.] I do feel like my timetable is unsatisfactory. And I have made plans in a positive spirit. Hurrah!

And the confusing daily:

"Think of those street performers that we sometimes see. Before they swallow their swords or juggle their flaming torches, they make a great play of the danger they are about to put themselves in. Yet they do this every day. Deep down within, they know precisely how to carry out the feat and feel extremely confident of their own ability. But they have to make it look scary so that the audience will be impressed. Now, please, think in this way about the spectacle that you have lately been watching unfold."

I am confused. Are they talking about some spectacle to which I am the audience, observing others doing something that looks dangerous but in fact is something they are capable of doing? Or am I observing a spectacle in which I myself am involved, and it feels dangerous but really it’s something I’m quite capable of and ought not to fear?

Either way, I'm not sure I can figure it out. The only thing that fits is the big work project, but that's way too drab and boring to be the subject of my horoscope. Isn't it?

I've seen the "who do you look like" meme going around. I have no idea who I look like. Yes, I do. My mother. Folks, I look like my mother.

I can't remember ever having been told that I look like a celebrity. I did, a few times when I was younger, get told that my eyes looked like Greta Garbo's. But that's all I've got.

I look like my mother.

Bah.